While Politicians and Media Frame Trans People as a Threat, I Wrote a Book to Keep Them Alive
Last week, my book Raising Trans Kids: What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This sold enough copies to make the New York Times bestseller list. It didn’t.
I’m not sharing this to dwell on my own disappointment — I’m sharing it because it highlights a troubling reality: at the very same time my book was quietly left off the list, powerful politicians and media figures were telling the public that trans people are dangerous.
When Words Cross a Line
Within just a few days, some of the loudest voices in politics and media escalated their attacks on trans people — calling for transition to be made illegal, suggesting that trans people should be institutionalized, and even comparing “the radical trans moment” to terrorist groups.
Others went further, using dehumanizing language online and labeling transgender people a “death cult.”
As writer and advocate Veronica James recently put it, this is about “demonizing the trans community in order to manufacture consent for state-sanctioned violence.”
This language isn’t just hurtful — it’s harmful. It frames trans people as a danger to others, which makes it easier for the public to accept harsher laws and policies.
We also saw the dangers of disinformation in real time: before facts were even known, trans people were falsely blamed for a recent high-profile murder they had nothing to do with. The claims spread quickly online, and the damage was done long before corrections were issued.
And in a twist no one expected, the NRA spoke out against the push to institutionalize trans people — not as an act of allyship, but because doing so would strip trans people of their Second Amendment rights. It’s a strange, sobering moment when even the nation’s biggest gun lobby recognizes that this rhetoric is going too far.
What I See in My Work
I have spent more than a decade supporting trans youth and their families, and the fear has never been so palpable. When this kind of rhetoric spikes, parents often show up in my office with big questions:
Will my child still be able to get the care they need next year?
Are we safe here, or do we need to flee? How will we know when it’s time?
How do we support our kid without adding to their fear?
These questions aren’t just about fear — they’re about love. Parents want to know how to protect their kids and keep their families healthy and whole.
Even sadder are the questions coming from young people themselves. Many of them are learning in school about Nazi Germany, about Japanese internment camps, about moments when governments turned on their own people — and they are terrified they could be next.
I sit with teens who ask if they will be taken from their families, if they will be allowed to stay in school, if they should be preparing to leave their state before their rights disappear. These are survival questions from kids who should be worrying about soccer practice and science projects, not whether their government wants them to exist.
What Gets Amplified — and What Gets Erased
This is where the New York Times Bestseller list becomes more than a list — it becomes a mirror.
In the same week my book sold enough copies to make the list but didn’t, Charlie Kirk’s book — which we outsold — appeared at #9 on the list, while another of his books was ranked at #2.
Raising Trans Kids outsold seven books that made the list — which makes it clear this was an editorial decision and sadly, one that I expected.
In 2023 more than 100 organizations and leaders signed a letter to the NYT demanding a stop to biased and irresponsible coverage of transgender people. GLAAD’s Serena Sonoma wrote, “The Times’ reporting is being weaponized against the trans community, and is therefore actively contributing to an ongoing climate of discrimination and violence.” Read more here.
It shows us the broader pattern: we are living in a moment where harmful narratives about trans people are amplified faster than the truth — whether it’s disinformation blaming trans people for a murder they had nothing to do with, or coordinated calls to institutionalize trans people.
The list is just one more place where we see that the voices working to keep kids safe are fighting to be heard, while the voices calling them dangerous are amplified.
This Was Predictable — and Preventable
Advocates have been warning for years that this kind of language would become more common. It follows a clear pattern: first cast doubt, then create fear, then push for restrictive policies.
We are watching this play out in real time — a pattern that many scholars identify as the early stages of authoritarianism. Each step is deliberate: isolate a group, portray them as dangerous, and convince the public that removing their rights is for “safety.”
Some experts are even naming this for what it is: a genocidal campaign against trans people — an attempt not only to restrict access to health care but to eliminate trans lives from public life entirely.
It’s hard not to feel despair when the pattern is so clear. It can feel like there’s nothing left to hope for.
But I need you to remember: parents are not powerless.
Every time a parent chooses to affirm their child, advocate at school, correct misinformation, or share good resources with their community, they shift the narrative toward safety and belonging.
I have seen the difference it makes when a parent shows up at a school board meeting, when they model respect for pronouns at home, when they speak up in their faith communities or extended families. These individual actions create ripples — and when enough ripples happen, they change the water entirely.
Where We Go From Here
I wrote Raising Trans Kids so parents, caregivers, educators, and allies wouldn’t have to face these questions alone. It’s a calm, clear, and practical guide — not a frightening one — designed to help families navigate this moment with confidence and compassion.
If you’re a parent, teacher, librarian, or community leader, I hope you’ll get this resource into the hands of the people who need it most. Donate a copy to a school or library. Share it with a friend. Bring it to your PTA meeting or book club.
And when you see disinformation or fear-mongering online, pause before sharing. Look for reliable reporting. Speak up when you can. The truth is one of the most powerful tools we have to keep kids safe.
Because despite the noise, there is so much we can do — right now — to support trans youth.
When parents, teachers, and communities choose to act, the results are undeniable: kids are happier, healthier, and more fully themselves.
Every time we amplify truth over fear, every time we center compassion over cruelty, we push back against the narrative that trans lives are expendable.
Our kids are watching. Let’s make sure what they see from us is courage, love, and a refusal to look away.
Help Others Find Hope by Writing a Review
One powerful way to amplify compassion over fear — and to ensure families searching for guidance can find Raising Trans Kids — is by leaving a review. Each review helps the book reach more families, stay visible in bookstores and libraries, and push back against hateful review-bombing.
Add your review at booksellers like Amazon or Barnes & Noble, or on Goodreads.
Even a sentence or two makes a real difference in helping parents, grandparents, and educators find the support they need.
